![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
things
1) I am feeling very, very trapped right now. It has been um, a little over a month since I have done anything social with my friends or done anything totally for me outside of the house. When I do manage time to sneak away, it is usually during errand runs where I sneak in a trip to the bookstore. But pretty much I am at work or I am at home and this all is making me twitchier and twitchier.
2) This whole sleeping thing is starting to worry me. I'm getting sleep, but it is really, strangely heavy and I have taken to napping when I can. Bleh.
3) My nephew yelled at me for not picking up my phone yesterday. He said things like, "You think you're better than we are and that is why you don't answer" and "You're rude, you're rude, you're so fucking rude." Which, okay, he called once and I didn't call him back and I don't tend to respond to emails. But a) I don't respond to *anyone's* emails because I am a giant flake and also because very rarely do I get emailed something that necessitates a reply so it isn't like I'm singling him out for ignoring, b) he and his mom *didn't answer our calls for a year* because they didn't want to deal with my sister being sick and apparently I'm still pretty righteously angry about this, and c) it was *one fucking day*. He called, I did not pick up, he left me a rude fucking message about how I'm so terribly rude for not picking up the phone, I called him back the next day and got harangued for my poor phone etiquette. Whatever. I'm pissed off.
4) Really, I am pissed off about a lot of things. But I am caring instead of sharing and keeping that to myself when it comes to fannish things. Unless, as recently happened, the thing that pisses me off is so WTF-inducing that I have to say something or I will explode in a gory shower of me-bits.
5) Fuck, I should have bought those books today when I was out.
6) I have cramps.
7) Man, I *really* want some garlic cheese bread. Really, really a lot.
8) Somewhat relatedly to #1, I really want to go swimming. I want, very badly, to put my headphones on and swim a good 100 laps where there is just me and my body and the water and some music. I cannot go swimming because I have to be home. I have to be home because my mother cannot deal with being home alone too much after dark.
9) Cemetaries are fucking creepy. The whole concept is creepy. Visiting my sister's gravesite does not, in any way, help my grieving process. Instead it just creeps me the fuck out. I do not see how this is helpful but I am going to bow to my mother's wishes because that is easier and less stressful and does not make me cry as much as fighting with her.
10) I also want cake.
mostly, though, I am just really grouchy and am sick of home and do not get a vacation this year 'cause I used all my PTO during the time of great depression and also being stuck at home. Can we tell that this stuck at home thing is really getting to me? Because it is. Grar. I use this icon to show my solidarity with the George O'Malley Method of Turning Stress and Helplessness into Being Pissed Off. I'm with you, adorable fictional character that I overidentify with, though I admit I'd be nicer to my hot girlfriend if I had one.
2) This whole sleeping thing is starting to worry me. I'm getting sleep, but it is really, strangely heavy and I have taken to napping when I can. Bleh.
3) My nephew yelled at me for not picking up my phone yesterday. He said things like, "You think you're better than we are and that is why you don't answer" and "You're rude, you're rude, you're so fucking rude." Which, okay, he called once and I didn't call him back and I don't tend to respond to emails. But a) I don't respond to *anyone's* emails because I am a giant flake and also because very rarely do I get emailed something that necessitates a reply so it isn't like I'm singling him out for ignoring, b) he and his mom *didn't answer our calls for a year* because they didn't want to deal with my sister being sick and apparently I'm still pretty righteously angry about this, and c) it was *one fucking day*. He called, I did not pick up, he left me a rude fucking message about how I'm so terribly rude for not picking up the phone, I called him back the next day and got harangued for my poor phone etiquette. Whatever. I'm pissed off.
4) Really, I am pissed off about a lot of things. But I am caring instead of sharing and keeping that to myself when it comes to fannish things. Unless, as recently happened, the thing that pisses me off is so WTF-inducing that I have to say something or I will explode in a gory shower of me-bits.
5) Fuck, I should have bought those books today when I was out.
6) I have cramps.
7) Man, I *really* want some garlic cheese bread. Really, really a lot.
8) Somewhat relatedly to #1, I really want to go swimming. I want, very badly, to put my headphones on and swim a good 100 laps where there is just me and my body and the water and some music. I cannot go swimming because I have to be home. I have to be home because my mother cannot deal with being home alone too much after dark.
9) Cemetaries are fucking creepy. The whole concept is creepy. Visiting my sister's gravesite does not, in any way, help my grieving process. Instead it just creeps me the fuck out. I do not see how this is helpful but I am going to bow to my mother's wishes because that is easier and less stressful and does not make me cry as much as fighting with her.
10) I also want cake.
mostly, though, I am just really grouchy and am sick of home and do not get a vacation this year 'cause I used all my PTO during the time of great depression and also being stuck at home. Can we tell that this stuck at home thing is really getting to me? Because it is. Grar. I use this icon to show my solidarity with the George O'Malley Method of Turning Stress and Helplessness into Being Pissed Off. I'm with you, adorable fictional character that I overidentify with, though I admit I'd be nicer to my hot girlfriend if I had one.