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5 things that piss me off as a customer service person
1) If I am reading something back to you phonetically, I am GODDAMN WELL DOING IT FOR A REASON. Pay some attention instead of wasting 30 minutes of both of our times because you couldn't tell the difference between me saying "D as in delta" and "V as in victor."
2) If you forgot to cancel your account and you get charged for it, why are you screaming at me about how I'm not able to give you a refund? This is especially true if you forget to cancel your account FOR A YEAR. Let me play you the world's tiniest violin.
3) Stop fucking interrupting me. All interrupting me is going to do is make me sit there until you STFU and THEN I WILL WAIT SOME MORE while I wait to see if it's my turn to talk. If you keep interrupting me, not only am I NOT going to be inclined to make an exception for you, I will actually be less inclined to do what is actually within my power. Somewhat relatedly to this: don't be a condescending douche. You know what? I'm a smart, reasonably nice, reasonably logical person. I don't want you to cuss at me or call me names. I want to help you. But the minute we start with the interruptions, the condescension, and the yelling, any desire I have to be remotely helpful go flying right out the window and I turn into that person who is like, "You have not filled out these nine forms in triplicate under the light of a new moon while bathing in the blood of twenty virgins and hopping on one foot. Also you forgot to check that box there."
4) Procedures are in place for a reason. I have to follow those procedures. You are not any more special than anyone else. Do not expect me to make a special exception for you because of your boo hoo sob story or your threats about how you're going to sue me, take my job, and report my company to the BBB for fraud. You signed the TOU/TOS and all of the rules and restrictions which govern these policies are everywhere on our website including every page where you say they're not located. Your inability to read or comprehend what you're reading do not create in me an obligation to cater to your demands or your unique, precious butterfly soul. You're not special. You'll be a lot happier with the world and your place in it once you learn that.
5) Screaming at me? Not gonna help. Ass.
2) If you forgot to cancel your account and you get charged for it, why are you screaming at me about how I'm not able to give you a refund? This is especially true if you forget to cancel your account FOR A YEAR. Let me play you the world's tiniest violin.
3) Stop fucking interrupting me. All interrupting me is going to do is make me sit there until you STFU and THEN I WILL WAIT SOME MORE while I wait to see if it's my turn to talk. If you keep interrupting me, not only am I NOT going to be inclined to make an exception for you, I will actually be less inclined to do what is actually within my power. Somewhat relatedly to this: don't be a condescending douche. You know what? I'm a smart, reasonably nice, reasonably logical person. I don't want you to cuss at me or call me names. I want to help you. But the minute we start with the interruptions, the condescension, and the yelling, any desire I have to be remotely helpful go flying right out the window and I turn into that person who is like, "You have not filled out these nine forms in triplicate under the light of a new moon while bathing in the blood of twenty virgins and hopping on one foot. Also you forgot to check that box there."
4) Procedures are in place for a reason. I have to follow those procedures. You are not any more special than anyone else. Do not expect me to make a special exception for you because of your boo hoo sob story or your threats about how you're going to sue me, take my job, and report my company to the BBB for fraud. You signed the TOU/TOS and all of the rules and restrictions which govern these policies are everywhere on our website including every page where you say they're not located. Your inability to read or comprehend what you're reading do not create in me an obligation to cater to your demands or your unique, precious butterfly soul. You're not special. You'll be a lot happier with the world and your place in it once you learn that.
5) Screaming at me? Not gonna help. Ass.