mimesere | shame? what's that?

part of me thinks I should feel shame for reading romance novels with like, soul mates, heart mates, insert noun of choice mates, but I don't.

Fairies and elves? No problem. Stuff I would not read in fic if you paid me, I will *happily* pay $8 a book for. I don't even like elves in my crappy fantasy books. The only reason I can stand them in Tolkien is 'cause of Agent Elrond and the everlasting hotness of Liv Tyler and um, Haldir. I love me some Haldir, y'all. Oh oh, and Legolas' eternal love for Gimli. ELVES. I hate the pointy eared fuckers. But I just got done rereading two (out of *four*, I even broke my rules about fucking novel WIPs) not-terribly-well-written trashy romance novels with *elves* and *soulmates* and *violet eyes* and *super powerful magical hidden princesses*. Like, if you made a list of Things I Make Fun of in Fic, these novels would be it. Don't care. More crack, please!

Yeah, I don't even know.

Now I want to read more cracktacular romance novels.

Ah well. I will get on re-reading the Codex Alera books in prep for the next one coming out on Tuesday. GODDAMN YOU TO HELL FOR THIS UNFINISHED SERIES BULLSHIT. Authors? You are *on notice*.

Oh, and LKH? What is this 200 page crap? HAVE YOUR NOVELS TAKE PLACE OVER MORE THAN ONE NIGHT. Man, I almost regret not heckling you at Comic Con.

Also? Wyld Stallyns pwn. That is all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*snerf* The 12-hour 200 page solution to wanting to write about a situation that, even in fantasy, is clearly too unstable to last more than a couple-three days?

*G* Something like! It's totally ridiculous and yet, as long as I keep getting coupons for 'em, I'll keep buying them.

Wyld! Stallyns! ::fist pump::

They are *most* triumphant.

*air guitars*

Party On, Dude.

Have you read Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series at all? It lacks elves (though it makes up for that with 'Companions' , pure-white, blue-eyed magical creatures which resemble horses but bond with a single human and communicate telepathically) but has all the 'this character's eyes are *what* colour?!' and soulmates (complete with special terminology) and so on. There are dozens of books set in and around Valdemar, mostly in the form of complete trilogies.

And, since I can't recall any violet-eyed (as opposed to silver-eyed) characters in Lackey, let me plug

tammy212's Song of the Lioness (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679801146) quartet, which features an honest-to-goodness violet-eyed, red-haired, magic-wielding, chosen-by-the-gods protagonist who's the best knight-in-training in the entire kingdom even though she's the only girl, in case you missed that one.

I've read your recommendations and I've read the books sheila's referring to, and I don't think it would work. Lackey and Pierce try to get their characters to be sensible around the gods-touched stuff. Laurell K. Hamilton only tries to get her characters to be sensible about weaponry, and even then, they belong to the Ronon Dex school of concealed carry.

The difference can best be explained, I think, by the fact that no one ever eats in an LKH book unless someone is trying to poison them. Misty and Tammy's characters regularly purchase food before anyone will have to eat because they realize that people need to eat or they will die.

Sheila, you might try Misty's 500 Kingdoms. It's got all of that fairytale stuff, but the premise is that the world is trying to arrange for incredible fairytale stories to happen, so being a fairy godmother is mostly about trying to manipulate your people out of a tragic fairytale and into a happier one.

Laurell K. Hamilton only tries to get her characters to be sensible about weaponry, and even then, they belong to the Ronon Dex school of concealed carry.

The difference can best be explained, I think, by the fact that no one ever eats in an LKH book unless someone is trying to poison them. Misty and Tammy's characters regularly purchase food before anyone will have to eat because they realize that people need to eat or they will die.

You don't know how hard I just had to work to not wake Te up by laughing too loud. I am literally in pain here.

Apparently I fail at recommending pro-published Mary Sues. This is something I am okay with failing at.

*G* I've read the 500 Kingdoms stuff! They are delightfully fluffy!

I read the Song of the Lioness quartet in high school and enjoyed them; ditto the Valdemar stuff. I have to admit, of the Valdemar stuff, my favorite is still the oneshot with um, the mercenary captain chick.

But yeah, no, Zvi is right. They are not *nearly* cracktacular enough for what I'm thinking.

You're reading Danse Macabre, aren't you? That book sat on my nighttable for nearly three months before I gave up and returned it to the library, unfinished. I never don't finish books.

Shockingly enough, the next book, The Harlequin, actually has Plot and doesn't just have Anita having sex every other breath. I actually enjoyed it for an LKH book. I thought I would never enjoy an Anita book again, so that was a surprise.

See, I was actually highly entertained by Danse Macabre! There is something nice about having finally passed the threshhold of, "Are you serious, LKH? Did Anita really need a harem of exotic, longhaired fetishistic vampires and were-creatures *and* a metric ton of new powers? She did? Okay!" and now I can just let go of any expectations I may have had once upon a time and embrace the crack.

Which, let me tell you, made The Harlequin *that much better*.

I love Haldir too!

Haldir is awesome! Yaaaaay Haldir!

So I should get the Codex Alera books too? I've been inhaling The Dresden Files series and preemptively bemoaning finishing the last of them.

And oh, Haldir! Someone else who remembers him!

I like the Codex Alera books more than I like Dresden files, honestly, but I like faux roman war stuff. and uh, I just like them. I dunno. Like, I read the first book and was like, "This is okay, I guess" and the whole time I'm just thinking that it was okay, and then I got to the end and all of a sudden I was halfway through the next book and once again going, "This is okay, I guess," and then the third book was done and I was like, "HEY, MORE FAUX ROMAN SHENANIGANS, PLEASE." And I've been kind of obsessively waiting for the new one ever since. It snuck up on me! I don't even know.

And Haldir! Yay for Haldir!

They sound like something I might like! Got to use those Borders coupons, now that I'm here...

I love TDF and Harry, though I also often feel like slapping him senseless.

And once gotten caught in the trap of WIPs, there's no way but forward, I guess. :D

shame? what's that?

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