Matt Cortez and his pointy head are adorable! Um. Pretty much what I know about Matt Cortez is that he has a pointy head, is adorable, plays guitar and bass, masturbates like a champ, and has an impressive enough collection of porn that Gerard mentioned it in an interview.

Personally, I feel this means there should be LOTS OF PORN STARRING MATT CORTEZ AMIABLY PUTTING HIS HARD-EARNED PORN KNOWLEDGE TO GOOD USE.

As for example! The time when Gerard is kind of wired and up too late and Matt Cortez is like, "Hey Gerard, so I was watching this porno, right, and there was a demon -- you could tell 'cause his dick was painted black and he had devil horns and like, a dildo tail thing, right? -- and he was trying to seduce this guy into selling his soul--"

and Gerard is like, "OMG, A PORNO FAUST?"

And Matt Cortez is like, "Uh, sure, there was something about some hot chick that he'd banged earlier, ANYWAY, so he totally blew him and fucked him with the dildo and I was thinking hey, you're awake and I'm awake and I'm pretty sure Frank's got--"

"OH MY GOD, CORTEZ, WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

And Matt sort of pauses and is like, "Too much? I mean, it was really awesome and I'm pretty sure Frank's fake dick is about the same size..."

um. Yeah, I don't even know where that came from. But there you go.

eta: Also, now I feel someone ought to write Five Times Matt Cortez Fucked His Bandmates Using Techniques He Learned in Porn.