spiderman 3; stupid boys

[mimesere]

Re: Spiderman 3 -- Wow, that was BAD. That made X3 look like high fucking cinema. Like, at no point should the audience be reduced to the following:
a) helpless laughter
b) going, "*cough*whore*cough*" Look, I'm sorry, but even I was going, "What the fuck, you hypocritical bitch?" when MJ was macking on Harry.
c) a woman saying, "HIT HER AGAIN!" when MJ gets clocked in the face. Followed immediately by, "What? I hate that bitch."
d) more helpless laughter
e) constant comments like, "Oh, I bet this is where he cuts!" and "This soundtrack should totally be all My Chemical Romance and Hinder." "No, no, My Chemical Romance is too good for this movie." and "GOD DAMN, HE HAS EMO HAIR."
f) "Is he crying?" "I...yes?" "SPIDERMAN IS CRYING?"
g) repeating the above about five times at various points in the movie
h) The villains were stupid *and* emo. Yes, I am using emo in the perjorative sense.
i) during the RANDOM ASS DANCE SCENE STRAIGHT OUT OF A LIFE LESS ORDINARY: "...what the *fuck*, Sam Raimi?"

I just. It was a bad movie, y'all. It was a bad movie with bad dialogue and bad acting (oh my *god* the bad acting) and a bad script and just. It was bad. It wasn't even bad like Daredevil, which honestly tried and just failed. This was just a bad, bad movie. At one point I leaned over to Boy I Am Not Dating and said, "Even Venom cannot save this movie," and lo, it was true. Venom was also bad. Just. No. It wasn't even entertaining. Like, honestly? It was about as bad (or worse) as Minotaur and that's the only Sci Fi Original Movie that was SO BAD Amy and I turned it off before the monster showed up. Movie with the purple paraplegic zombie princess? AWESOME. Spiderman 3? OMG BAD.

I feel the need to watch Batman Begins/Superman Returns again to get the bad taste out of my head.


Re: STUPID BOYS -- Boy I Am Not Dating just asked me to date him.

GODDAMMIT.

*sulks*

ETA: other things I did - go to Amoeba Records and look for Patrick Stump buy Sounds of Superman. Because you know what's awesome? An entire cd of nothing but songs about Superman.

Comments

[hesychasm]

OH THANK GOD YOU HATED IT TOO. I've been clicking through my friendsfriends and there are actually people who thought it was really really good and I'm like, the hell? am I going insane?? At least ONTD's got a great thread full of haters, and now there is you, and so that restores some balance to my universe.

One ther thing I'd forgotten I hated and that thread reminded me of: WTF was with Harry's butler/Alfred-wannabe ALL OF A SUDDEN telling him that his father killed himself? Like, hello, wouldn't that information have been useful about TWO MOVIES AGO?!

Arrrrrgh I'm so fucking pissed I didn't just walk out when the stupid dance routine started so I could get my goddamn money back.

[jennyo.livejournal.com]

Tobey Maguire's "I want to be Peter Petrelli, not Peter Parker" hair of emo sucked so bad.

It made me love Peter from Heroes, that's how bad this movie was. Because Peter from Heroes wouldn't have pulled this shit!

[viggorlijah.livejournal.com]

it was TERRIBLE! It was like they all signed the contracts and said well, we're getting paid anyway, so what the hell.

IDIOTIC! STUPID! DUMB!

Except, really Toby Maguire making little gun fingers at women looking at him with undisguised disgust. Hee.

I mean, really, if you're going to waste all that cash on a giant crappy movie, then just go and throw in some great THREESOME scenes of sexsexsex between Harry, MJ and Peter.

Because that's the only thing that might've said that damn film.

[kidchyron.livejournal.com]

Hm. I suspected Spidey 3 would piss me off, so I chose to give it a pass. It's good to have confirmation that my choice was correct. I know from the last two movies that the way they've fucked with my boy Spidey makes me grr-arrgh with rage.

And hey, boys are not stupid, we are just helpless before your being made entirely of awesome and win. I speak from experience. ^_~

[annaalamode.livejournal.com]

Boy I Am Not Dating just asked me to date him.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, I suck at being supportive. Sorry!

[strangemuses.livejournal.com]

Wasn't it dreadful? I now understand why Tobey Maguire looked so embarrassed and uncomfortable to even talk about this piece of crap on the Letterman show the other night.

[pierydys.livejournal.com]

Oh, cripes. I was dreading that might happen. And we have tickets for the IMAX on Sunday. Just what I need, 2 hours of staring at a building-high screen of head-to-wall badness. Just answer me this: better or worse than Highlander Endgame? ;-)