dear patrick

I know I once said that *intellectually* I knew you weren't like, objectively hot? Because darling, you have kind of an odd face and the sideburns don't do a lot for you, and your fashion aesthetic is...look, I'm just saying the argyle + kneesocks combo would be an improvement over the acid washed denim jacket thing you're rocking now (why? why? You have a body that makes me want to *do things* to it, please stop hiding it), and you know. I get that all intellectually and it doesn't really matter because on the other hand, you have those thighs and that mouth and a tendency to look *really* sarcastic and bitchy and I love your hair and your voice is like Katie Heigl levels of hot and you're smart and amazingly talented and that all equals nnnnngh and flailing. So like, I totally thought you couldn't actually *be* hotter to me?

Oh, boo. How wrong I was. How very, very wrong.

You're teaching yourself trumpet? Really? You + trumpet?

I take it all back. You are just the hottest thing *ever*. No, really, HOW ARE YOU SO HOT?

trumpet! eeeee!

Thank you for being the best secret girlfriend a girl could have.

Love,
S.

P.S. Let Timbaland give you his stylist's number. Seriously. Do you know how amazingly gorgeous you are in tailored suits?

P.P.S. AWWWWW. I heart your musical taste!

P.P.S. OH MY GOD, PATRICK, YOU LOVE THE JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS SOUNDTRACK? REALLY? I. Oh, *Patrick*. I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED YOU BEST.