what can I say? I like a boy in an apron.

[mimesere]

Oh, Alex Suarez, how so awesome? 'Cause you know what's effing hot? A hot boy who can play bass *and* cook.
Cooking with Cobra Starship.


mimesere: how so awesome, alex suarez?
ladysorka: He is so, so awesome.
mimesere: also, I feel that there should be a ton of fic
mimesere: where alex cooks.
mimesere: and they all feed each other.
ladysorka: Yes please. He went to culinary school!
mimesere: and then have a lot of sex. possibly with chocolate.
ladysorka: Lots and lots of sex
mimesere: and everyone is like, "what's with this hershey's bullshit, alex?" and he's like, "I figured you'd be too distracted by sex to focus on chocolate."
ladysorka: Heeee. *Yes*.
mimesere: and Ryland's all, "Don't believe him, he has a stash of the good stuff somewhere."
ladysorka: Maybe he hid it behind his Legolas stand-up.
mimesere: you know he tried to make lembas
ladysorka: He completely did. And keeps being sadly disappointed.
mimesere: alex is totally that geek
mimesere: he is the guy who sits down and figures out recipes from descriptions in books
ladysorka: Oh, god yes.
mimesere: he's all, "this pie type thing sounds awesome. someone bring me berries!"
ladysorka: ...in high school Ryland completely enabled him.
mimesere: Ryland's all, "...gabe. gabe. in the divorce, I get alex."
mimesere: and gabe's like, "Dude. he makes good vegetarian food."
ladysorka: Hee. But Ryland has a prior claim!
mimesere: he does!
mimesere: ryland is all, "i called dibs!"
ladysorka: Yes!
mimesere: ...oh god
ladysorka: ?
mimesere: why am I now picturing the courtship of alex suarez?
ladysorka: Heee.
mimesere: where wee ryland is all, "...hallo alex. I've got legs! do you?"
ladysorka: *gigglesnort* Yes!
ladysorka: And then they become friends, and Ryland somehow magically gets Alex a job at the jewish deli. ...or maybe that was the other way around, I'd have to check.
mimesere: and then there is gabe!
mimesere: alex is totally the secret sex magnet of cobra starship
mimesere: he went to prom with patrick
ladysorka: But the Alex/Ryland story is magical! They lost touch! And then found each other in the wilds of Brooklyn and decided to make a band singing songs that remind you of Simon and Garfunkel! And then Gabe totally tapped them both.
ladysorka: He so, so is.
ladysorka: Though.
ladysorka: Nate is kind of up there too.
ladysorka: Gabe clearly has a crush on Nate.
mimesere: ...which, btw, if someone wanted to write the gabe/vickyt - alex/patrick double prom date from hell? I would not be opposed
ladysorka: Like, half the Cobra polaroids are pictures of shirtless Nate with the caption "HAWT!"
mimesere: awww nate and his little stupid dork *face*
mimesere: maybe that is because nate, like...all the non-bob-bryar drummers seems to like running around half naked
mimesere: what the hell, bob bryar, get on that.
ladysorka: Well, no. Spencer also wears shirts! ...Nate isn't quite a nudist like Butcher, though.
ladysorka: (And the Gabe/Vicky-T, Alex/Patrick fic *needs* to happen.)
mimesere: vickyt and patrick are totally bffs
ladysorka: (I still lol that we have a picture, taken by Tom Conrad, or Butcher naked sunbathing with a hat over his dick.)
mimesere: and patrick is going to skip prom
ladysorka: Aw, Patrick, yes.
mimesere: but vickyt is like, no, no, you are coming to prom
mimesere: and patrick is all, it's a senseless classist mating ritual and I'm not gonna play
mimesere: and vicky looks at him all reproachfully and is like, patrick. what did we say?
mimesere: and patrick shuffles his feet and is like, no more talking to andy about high school stuff.
mimesere: and she prompts him, "why no more talking to andy about high school stuff?" and he says, "because I'm impressionable and easily led by passionate diatribes about socialism." "patrick." "because he's really hot and I like his hands."
ladysorka: *giggles* *draws little hearts*
mimesere: and no one in school can figure out why patrick and vicky t are friends!
mimesere: because. patrick's not *unpopular*
mimesere: but there is patrick's level and then there is vicky t's level.
mimesere: and someone points this out to her and she's like, "can you quote transformers? no? then how hot or interesting could you possibly be?" and she waves them off dismissively
ladysorka: VICKYT I LOVE YOU
mimesere: and the popular boys are kind of all !!! about vicky t. because on the one hand, dude, she's smokin' hot.
mimesere: but on the other, she hangs with the band nerds
ladysorka: Heh. Oh, Vicky-T.
mimesere: and patrick is. weird.
mimesere: because there's totally a rumor that he's a) sleeping with vicky t, b) sleeping with pete wentz, c) sleeping with that weird goth kid who goes to art school, d) sleeping with travis, or e) they're all having some kind of orgy
ladysorka: Heee. Oh, patrick.
mimesere: a) they tried seven times to have sex but one or the both of them fell asleep each time until the last, when they made out for a bit and then were like, "this is really weird." "yeah." "...I wrote this song about my dog." "ooh."
ladysorka: *hearts them*
mimesere: b) five months, totally intense. then, one day, pete said something -- no one knows what -- and patrick jumped on him and punched him in the face and they didn't talk for two weeks and then pete dropped by and patrick got really red in the face and looked like he'd punch him again and pete put his head on patrick's shoulder and his hands in the pockets of patrick's hoodie and said something -- no one knows what -- and patrick's whole face softened and then they were okay but not...doing anything extra anymore.
mimesere: c) he likes gerard's hands.
ladysorka: Oh, Pete and Patrick.
ladysorka: And, yes.
mimesere: d) travis is the hottest boy patrick's ever been with. and it's weird, because patrick is...maybe less into guys than pete is, but he's had more sex with guys than pete has and definitely more sex than he's had with girls. patrick suspects this is because all the boys he knows are pretty easy and the girls he knows are terrifyingly beautiful and awesome and perfect.
ladysorka: Oh, Patrick.
mimesere: anyway. travis is. travis is travis and he tangles you up and the next thing you know, you're blowing him before zero period, jesus, and like, one time in the instrument closet, travis had to put his hand over patrick's mouth while he jerked patrick off and it didn't matter because patrick's not *quiet*, okay, and it's only through the efforts of drumline that the band doesn't know what Patrick sounds like when he's got a Travis.
mimesere: he takes nate, bob, spencer, and the andys out for pancakes after the competition that saturday.
ladysorka: I. *draws hearts* LOVE. SO HARD.
mimesere: e) the one time they were all in a room together, gerard pulled pete's hair for being mean to mikey and then thanked him for introducing mikey and alicia, travis made the moves on vicky t who made the moves right back at him, and patrick spent the whole night talking to some of vicky's friends from her old school and he watches the way alex cuts limes for body shots and thinks about how pretty his wrists are.
ladysorka: Watching Alex cut *limes*. And Gerard pulling Pete's hair! And... wow would Victoria/Travis be hot.
mimesere: gabe takes a shot off Bill's stomach
ladysorka: Hee, yes
mimesere: and patrick's not a hard liquor kind of guy, but he's really tempted. but he's also not a body shot kind of guy
ladysorka: *nods*
mimesere: right up until travis decides he is and grabs a shotglass from the butcher and a lime wedge from alex and straddles patrick where he's sitting on the couch. but that's travis for you.
mimesere: travis stares down at patrick's hatted, hoodied, and bundled up self for a second before he nudges Patrick's chin up and licks his neck. patrick flails a little and starts to say, "what the fuck?" and travis pops the lime wedge into his mouth. "Salt," Travis says and Alex slaps the salt shaker into his hand. Patrick tries to glare at Alex but seriously, fuck, he's *really pretty* and he cuts limes like ray toro plays guitar. Alex grins at him and Patrick has a second to think, "oh, fuck me," before he realizes that his thing for guys with awesome hands has gotten him right smack into crush territory and he could kill vicky t. and he will. right after travis is done licking him and grinding inappropriately in mixed company.

(LJ-ify your IMs before pasting!)

I don't even know where this whole epically and awesomely slutty patrick thing comes from. but whatever. sex it up, patrick stump. I am fully in favor. also? more of alex suarez cooking, tyk. because seriously. hot bass player who cooks. *fantastic*