Feb. 4th, 2010

mimesere: (Default)
1) Please let the rep do their job. Do not assume you can do their job better. You do not know the policies, tools, or the limitations of either of them. What you want is either a) totally doable, b) doable with a little fiddling, or c) not only not doable but also probably against rules you have agreed to.

2) Answer the questions that are asked of you. Not the questions you think you are being asked, not the questions you think should be asked, but the questions that ARE asked. Answer these questions concisely. This is especially true on questions like, "May I get your name please?" or "May I get your email/phone number/address please?" There is NO REASON IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE that these questions require a story.

3) You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Your special story? We've heard it. Trust me. We've heard it a WHOLE bunch. And if we haven't? We'll probably tell you.

4) Basic civility and manners. Have it. I will guarantee you that the person you're talking to will do their level best to help you as long as you're that nice person who's been totally cool instead of that giant d-bag who screamed for 20 minutes.

5) Look, don't mention hold times. We know hold times suck. They suck for us WAY more than they suck for you. Speaking for me and for just about everyone I know, mentioning them gets you a quick trip into eye-roll territory and immediate classification as one of THOSE people (this can be mitigated by otherwise being an awesome person).

6) We're human. There are jerks who work here too. They are, surprisingly, relatively rare.

7) We're going to have relatively little sympathy if we've sent you instructions or otherwise made something clear and you haven't done/read it.

8) I forget what 8 was for.

9) Please understand, people lie to us every day. All day, every day.

10) If you are calling an automated system and the automated system is saying stuff like, "This department cannot assist you with XXX issue, please call OTHER DEPARTMENT NUMBER" or whatever, listen to it. It's not telling you that for the lolz. It's tell you that because this department can't help you with that issue and waiting on the line doesn't make that magically change.

thank you, drive through.


mimesere: (Default)

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