ahahahahahaha

help. have bought guitar hero iii. played for four hours on easy. still suck most terribly. knights of cydonia = awesome.

robin hobb books

so, I'm maybe 200 pages into forest mage or whatever the fuck that book is called and I...quit. I don't usually just quit reading books, but everyone is just so unlikeable that I don't know what to do with it. I want to smack everyone and go, "Imperialism is wrong! Fuck off!" and "STFU Nevarre, you responsibility avoidant whining ass," and "STFU Nevarre's dad, you racist fuckwit!" and "STFU princess whatever your name is, you shallow immature douche."

This was largely my problem with the Assassin trilogy, except that I actually liked all of the characters except for the main whiny dude. I just...shouldn't spend the entire book wishing like hell that the main character would just shut up and die already.

I don't read fiction to be immersed in the reality of people being dicks; I read fiction to avoid it. Rargh. Maybe I can go find a nice romance novel to read. Or vampire assassins for the CIA.

vampire assassins for the cia! no, really!

I mentioned in my last post that I was going to go get either a romance novel (no luck, woe) or the next vampire assassins for the CIA book and some people were like, "whoa, hey, vampire assassins for the CIA? AWESOME." So, here's the skinny.

They are the Jaz Parks books by Jennifer Rardin (the site's book descriptions are spoilery like whoa).

The first one is called Once Bitten, Twice Shy, in which we are introduced to our hero, Jaz Parks (not a vampire) who is...uh. Well, pretty much she is Buffy, if Buffy were in Special Ops and then became an assassin for the CIA. There is also her boss, Vayl, who is the vampire assassin and who has the typical vampire manpain but who also gets the fuck on with his life and does not let his manpain (thus far) intrude on an excellent working relationship and has a delight in kicking ass that makes me smile. We also get socially maladjusted genius nerd inventor Miles Bergstrom, Cassandra the seer with a giant purse full of goods and a mystical computer, and Cole who is adorable geek candy and who wears chucks with a suit. Together, they fight crime! No, I really mean that. They *actually* fight crime.

The second one is called Another One Bites the Dust, in which our intrepid gang of misfit assassins go undercover at a carnival. It's totally like if BtVS had done a mashup with fun Mission Impossible with a side of Bond. They're mind candy, no one (so far) has acted like an idiot, and they talk to each other about their angst before they have sex (none yet, but it's totally on the horizon) and go evil.

There are more books to come in the series.

...AHAHAHAHAHA

OH MUSE, NEVER CHANGE.

So I am playing the practice mode of Guitar Hero III, which has Muse's "Knights of Cydonia" on it. And in practice mode, it splits the song into different parts so you can practice them, and mostly they are labeled things like "intro" and "outro" and "bridge" and "chorus" and standard things like that.

Knights of Cydonia is labeled:
mount thine steed
gallping rampage
enduring solitude
breakneck desperado
breakneck desperado 2
a cowboy's verse
mount thine steed 2
hastening pursuit
ammending chorus
galloping triplets
metal battleground
ammending chorus 2
metal battleground 2
a free man's laurels

It would be unbearable if I didn't think they were actually trying for gloriously, hilariously pretentious. But anyone who can make the video that goes along with this song cannot be totally out of touch with a sense of humor.

And if you haven't heard the song or seen the SPECTACULARLY HILARIOUS video:

Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds.