scenes from a call center

[mimesere]

Me: "Do you have your [piece of information necessary to verify an account.]?"
Dude 1: "Yes! Let me go get it. B-R-B."
Me: "Sure, no problem." [presses mute, starts giggling]
Dude 1: "...did I just *say* BRB?"

*

Me: "Okay, now, delete your WTF folder." [yes, it is actually called a WTF folder.]
Dude 2: "Lol."
Me: [presses mute, starts giggling.]
Dude 2: "Do you know what WTF means?"
Me: [totally serious] "No."
Dude 2: "Is it named that on purpose?"
Me: "Probably not. We don't really have a sense of humor here."

*

Me: "Okay, so your security question is [insert security question here]. May I get that answer so I can verify your account?"
Dude 3: "...why do you need that?"
Me: "...to verify your account?"
Dude 3: "That's something I would expect a phisher to ask for."
Me: "It's also something I would expect a phisher to ask for. But--"
Dude 3: "I don't really feel comfortable giving you that information."
Me: "There are other questions I can ask--"
Dude 3: "I'm going to go check the IP address on this email and if it matches, I'll call you back."
Me: "...that's certainly your prerogative."
Dude 3: [hangs up.]
Me: "YOU CALLED *US*, ASSFACE."