High moon over Amberlight, commanding the zenith, radiant, imperial, the city's fretted-ink porticoes and balconies gnawing that torrent of aerial snow. Domes shed it, men's towers drip with it. Under the vertical black rampart of the citadel wall, the qherrique outcrops glow to their depths with it: cabochon slabs girdling the hill's waist, broad as cathedral floors, zones of luminous milk slanted between ragged frames of earth and grass. Qherrique. Pearl-rock. Moon-stone. The core and crown of Amberlight.
the stolen internet i'm on is letting me load the web but not messaging, so i have gtalk (for now) but nothing else, aimexpress crashes any browser i try to use it with.
See, I love the style, but one of the things I plan to mention if I ever write up my review is that that is one of the most ill-conceived first paragraphs in literary history.
I think I made it in about two pages before the eyerolling at the style made me stop. It's something I could deal with in a short story, but an entire novel like that would make me want to hit something.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 08:00 am (UTC)first paragraph
Date: 2008-01-19 08:28 am (UTC)Re: first paragraph
Date: 2008-01-19 10:39 am (UTC)Re: first paragraph
Date: 2008-01-19 06:16 pm (UTC)Re: first paragraph
Date: 2008-01-19 09:30 pm (UTC)Or, in other words, goddamn that sucked.
Re: first paragraph
Date: 2008-01-20 12:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 08:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 08:49 am (UTC)*clings*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 08:58 am (UTC)hi hi darling hi.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 02:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 06:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 03:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-19 06:12 pm (UTC)