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so, I keep getting into this argument with people* when I say, "I am a Superman fan," because INVARIABLY the response is, "Oh, I like Batman more. Superman's boring."

To which my response is, INVARIABLY, "Yeah, well, at least Superman didn't come up with lethal ways to kill all his friends or launch a spy satellite to track metahuman everything across the globe and then lose control of it or, oh yeah, BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE."

And then the response is like, "Superman gave him the kryptonite!" and I'm all, "Yes, because SUPERMAN'S NOT AN ASSHOLE." And then they're all, "But what if superheroes go bad?"

And then I kind of flail at them and make this sound like a demented tea kettle and be all, "HE WON'T KILL A VILLAIN, BUT HE CAME UP WITH A PLAN TO LIGHT THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER ON FIRE."

And then they're all, "But what if heroes go bad? You have to have a way to take them out!" and I'm all, "What, Mr. I'm the goddamn Batman A Super Genius won't kill a villain like the goddamn Joker or the ninety million nutjob psycho killers he puts away and who keep escaping but he really, seriously, couldn't come up with a plan better than 'induce a grand mal seizure in the Flash at superspeeds!' and 'have Wondy fight someone until her heart gives out!' and 'let's just fuck with GL's head such that he BELIEVES HE IS BLIND' or 'hey, you know what sounds like fun good times? LIGHTING THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER ON FIRE' or 'let me just render Superman's skin invisible so he's tormented by the sun! AWESOME!'"

Look. I wouldn't care about it if Batman, you know, killed some villains because it was expedient. But you don't get to tell me that the ONLY POSSIBLE WAY he could come up with incapacitating his FRIENDS is to kill them and have me like the man. Like, okay, seriously, Batman killing Superman via kryptonite? Gets a pass from me because Superman set that up. He gave Bats the kryptonite himself. But the rest of them didn't. And while I'm totally all for having the contingency plans in place, you don't get to make them lethal, spy on all the metahumans IN THE WORLD, and then be a dick about your own privacy or when people call you on your bullshit or when Wondy kills a dude because he had, you know, hypnotized Superman.

I mean, there are loads of other reasons I dislike him, but that's the main one. You all know how I feel about people being hypocrites and he hits that button *hard* for me.

So there it is. For posterity.

*for the record, I have been told that people pick this fight with me at work because it makes them laugh. In retaliation, I like to bring up how Hal Jordan killed the entire Lantern Corps.

eta: also for the record, I also don't like any of the Robins. Basically, the Batfamily (minus Alfred, the Birds/the Gordons, Lucius Fox, and the members of the GCPD) doesn't do a whole lot for me. Though, I'll be totally fair and also admit I'm not a big huge fan of Kon or most of the other Teen Titans. I do passionately love the Wonder family and the Arrows and Wally West. Oooh, and Blue Beetle. Both of them.
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The big three plus Black Lightning and Hawkgirl are gonna fuck some shit up! They are gonna fuck some shit up hardcore!

And man, Hal's got a thing for archers. I mean, understandably, 'cause it's Roy? But still. *Damn*, that's some mighty gay right there.

In conclusion: Roy! Hawkgirl! Hal being gay for Arrows! Dinah threatening stiletto torture! Supes and Bats bickering! JLA FTW!


For [livejournal.com profile] fox1013: Pulse *not only* has Kristen Bell? But it has Ron Rifkin! And Brad Dourif, who you will know better as Luther Lee Boggs! And Ian Somerhalder! And an apocalypse!
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Electric Blue Supes (a.k.a. VILE PRETENDER[1]): "I worry because everyone seems to look up to me and it's making me a little uncomfortable. I can try but I can't solve every problem. I don't know if I can live up to this...myth they want me to be. How does Batman manage to make his own rules?"

Flash (v. Wally West): "By being cold and hard to know. You're *Superman*; you couldn't act like that if you rehearsed. And the *real* issue is that no matter how you feel or who you think you are, most people just can't see past that 'S' and what it represents. Including you."

--JLA v3 #006.


Also, I love that in Diana's Dream World O' Distraction, she and Steve Trevor are running around fighting zombie Nazis. SMASH THEM GOOD, DIANA!

[1] He may be a VILE PRETENDER but apparently, you slap that S on the guy and he steps up when he needs to.
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Huh. If *that's* the lineup, I am *so on board*.

word up

Sep. 1st, 2006 11:29 pm
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A) [livejournal.com profile] fox1013, reportage on the knee = I bruised it all to fuck and back and that it will be wonky for a while and to ice it if it starts being *really* wonky.

B) My nephew has taken my wee action figures and posed them in a remarkably perverse way[1]. I can't decide whether I am amused or appalled.

C) My nephew and I are watching "A Better World" because he wanted to know why Superman was wearing a white cape. This has led to conversations like:
My nephew: What did Superman just do to Lex?
Me: He killed him.
My nephew: ...that's not *super*.
Me: No. Killing people is bad. That's why the heroes try not to do it.
My nephew: So the killing makes him bad?
Me: Well, the fascism makes them bad.
My nephew: What's fascism?

Oh, Justice Lord Wondy, you are SO HOT. Um, anyway. AHAHAHA. "...Uh oh." Oh, Shayera, you are the *best*. Justice Lord Supes, you are so hot I almost forgive your being a complete crazyperson.

Heee. "I think he likes you."

D) I have finally discovered a former sidekick other than Wally that doesn't annoy me! Y'all, I *really* like Roy Harper and his himbo-ness. Also, Grace and Anissa are rockin'. And I have also discovered that Nightwing is much like Wesley in that when he's being bitchily gay with someone awesome (Roy), I like him fine. At all other times, the manpain crosses that line from tolerable into OH MY GOD JUST STFU[2, 3]. Roy, otoh, can get down with Grace all day long and I would not be displeased. Grace also won my heart by being all, "Dude, your dad had a *kickin'* afro," to Anissa. I now also approve of Helena/Roy. It may make Dinah pissy, but really, Helena is not made of stone and Roy is adorable. All right thinking people should want to have sex with Roy.

E) Also, I really could not love Wally more. Both in his animated incarnation and in his comics version. I *love* Wally. I love that in...whatever thing I was reading, ElectricBlue!Supes (VILE PRETENDER!) was like, "Wally was sometimes the most level-headed person in the world, but then Kyle would call and it just..." and it *cracked me up*, because um, apparently I have a thing for Wallys Flashes and Green Lanterns being bratty at each other[4]. Who knew? Anyway, I love Wally. This brings me to:

F) WOW, I love Wally in the Justice League Elite book. I'm iffy on the rest of it, even the knockoff Jenny Sparks (and now I want Jenny Sparks to have lots of crazy energetic sex with Roy, hi, hi, Roy I love you), though the Muslim intelligence guy was *awesome*. Also? Wally is really amazingly hot in the stylish black outfit of asskickingness. Anyway. Wally = WIN[5].

G) This is an awesome post. AWESOME.

H) I forget what H was for.

I) Someone tell me that Batman got his ass kicked by *someone* post-OMAC Project. Anyone. Because he totally and completely deserved it. Ass[6].

1) Okay, as near as I can figure, Justice Lord Supes is on the bottom, Justice Lord Bats is...sitting on his head, Justice League Flash has rather acrobatically er, got his knees hooked over Bats' shoulders and is arching backwards while Justice Lord Wonder Woman straddles him. I...had nothing to do with it, I *swear*.

2) Seriously. Wesley's appeal was greatest for me during the halcyon days of him being bitchily gay with Gunn. And being Cordelia's gay best friend. Oooh, and also when he was dating Virginia. Because I love Virginia. And then when he was bitchily straight with Lilah. I lost all interest when he became Mr. Crazy Manpaincakes. Crazy I can do and do happily, but the angst was just...no.

3) Nightwing could potentially drown in the symbolic lake of his pain.

4) Barry Allen and Hal Jordan were also full of wacky hijinks and thus I forgive Hal Jordan for being, well, Hal Jordan, but only when he is with Barry.

5) Did I mention I love Wally?

6) I think I will always hate comics!Batman just a little bit for devising the Let's Light J'onn on Fire plan and *especially* for the Let's Shoot Wally with a Bullet That Induces Epileptic Seizures plan. Yeah, see, you totally don't get to devise lethal ways of taking out people you call your teammates without just being a *dick*. Non-lethal? Sure, I'm on board. But um, no. Dick.
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just a brief note, but dude, seriously, Kal with the beard? Hot like a mofo.


Aug. 31st, 2006 09:36 pm
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They are wee and adorable and Justice Lord!Wondy looks like she wants to choke a bitch! *poses her with Justice League!Flash* Also, hot. Way hot. Hi, I am totally one of those people who vastly prefers my superheroes of all persuasions to wear practical clothing (okay, except for capes, 'cause those fuckers are *stylin'*) that, er, leaves *something* to the imagination.

Oh, Justice Lords. You are the best fascists *ever*.

*surreptitiously makes Justice Lord!Supes grope Justice Lord!Bats*

...it would be overkill to go buy the Lexiac Nano Justice Lords, right? That version of Supes and Bats comes with a *Hawkgirl*. Though not a mace. And not as Shayera. Decisions are hard!

ETA: LaT! The picture I promised! )
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one day, I will do actual reviews. Today is not that day.


Supes: "Yeah, I'm impressed. Let's go wreck it!"

Oh, Superman. I love you best!


GL: "Nuh uh. All through hiding. Come get some."

Supes: "Let's use our inside voice."

Soldier: "Your weapons are pitiful!"
Bats: "...wait for it."

I am all torn! I cannot decide who is more awesome in this episode, Bats or Supes. Oh, he busted out the cold breath! I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH OMG.

Flash: "What's this do?" *pushes big red button which shoots a laser beam at the Manor*
Batman: "That's. Not. Helping."

I really do love it when -- OMG J'ONN I LOVE YOU! -- they get so pissed off that all of them immediately go for "Let's fuck some shit up! Justice League SMASH!"
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by how well Leatherwing and PotC fit together.


ETA: ...sometimes I am dumb. I am not going to say on which page it finally hit me that Alfredo = Alfred. Let's just say it wasn't page 1. *facepalm*

ETA2: Wow, Bruce, John, and Diana are SUPER HOT as cowboys. Cranky, snarky cowboys.

Oh, this can go noplace good.

ETA3: AHAHAHAHA. Twangy JLU theme!

ETA4: I totally identified Batmanuel (Nestor Carbonell) as not!Zorro, but somehow I did not identify Ben Browder as Bat Lash.
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I totally love and adore KevinConroy!Batman, but I *really* love and adore KevinConroy!Old Cranky Bruce Wayne. He beat the crap out of hyena guy (amusingly, voiced by the guy who did the really nutball hyena in Lion King) with his cane and looked like it made him ridiculously happy to do so.

Oh, *Bruce*.

ETA: The cane continues to be hilarious.

ETA2: Also, until I learn otherwise, I have decided Ace was a present from Clark. Just so Clark could rag on Bruce for leaving a dog to guard the batcave. And Bruce looked suspiciously at Ace and asked Clark, "Does he shoot heat beams from his eyes?" And Clark was all, "No. But he'll bark if people get too close." "Does he bite?" "Only when he needs to." And then they share a significant look and very obviously do not hug. Because Bruce doesn't hug people. And if they did, he'd hit Clark in the head with the cane.

ETA3: Oh, Seth. Oh, *Seth*. I love that he plays the big bully guy. That's *awesome* in its funny.

ETA4: so...batman beyond )
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Awwww, *Lois*. I love her! She is made of win!

Lois: "I'm sitting on the hottest story of the year-- BATMAN UNMASKED! -- and I can't do a blessed thing about it."
Bruce: "You really do love me."

Also, wow, that totally set up one of Lois' birthday presents as being a hot threesome between her, Clark, and Bruce. 'Cause, okay. Bruce is shirtless in this scene and Superman is kickin' it out on the balcony and:

Bruce: "It's ironic, you know. She likes Bruce Wayne and she likes Superman. It's the other two guys she's not crazy about."
Superman: "Too bad we can't mix and match." *little smile*
Bruce: *smirky, considering look*

Dude, they're totally bonding over Lois being overprotective yet understanding.

So cute! Dana Delaney's Lois is made of awesome!
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THEY HAVE BRATTY TAUNTING LOVE. I am helpless in the face of bratty taunting love!

[livejournal.com profile] latxcvi, is the three part "World's Finest" ep the same as the Batman/Superman movie?

Also, Batman's little "Ha ha, got you now!" salute + smirk is the bitchiest thing *ever*.


Bruce just cockblocked Clark! After they talked shop! This is officially like the best episode of anything EVER.

Still on part 2:

Harley vs Mercy = MADE OF WIN! And the continued cockblocking between Bruce and Clark is *hilarious*. Batman also continues to be the biggest bitch in the world.

Oh, and clearly Bruce learned his bitchiness from Alfred. Best! Ever!
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Dear Alfred, Jim Gordon, and Lucius Fox:

How are you so *awesome*?


P.S. I bet Alfred *loves* Clark. Because anyone who can make Bruce into a snarky bitch is okay by him.

ETA: Wow, I *totally* just went to the Alfred/Lucius place.
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mimesere: "You know how some babies are found in baskets?" *gestures at spaceship* "This is how we found you."
rockstarfoxlet: I bet for years, Clark thought all babies came from spaceships.

Oh, *Lois*.

Clark: "Have you ever been to Kansas?"
Lois: "*God* no."

Oh, *Clark*. Bestest ever!

Lois: "What'd you get?"
Clark: "A shared byline, if you use it."

ETA: Why does Jimmy have a bouffant?

Martha: "It wouldn't be bad if people knew a little bit more about Superman. I wouldn't want anyone thinking you're like that nut in Gotham City."

you know?

Aug. 9th, 2006 11:17 am
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I totally want to see Superman Returns again.

Also, I think I have now watched the DMC vid so much I can no longer tell if it is any good. Woe. Stupid timing.

And in conclusion: Claaaaaark!

ETA: ...I think I'm going to go buy Superman: The Animated Series now. Weak! I am SO WEAK!


ETA3: Superman dresses up as and pretends to be Batman? *Seriously*?
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Ahahahaha! Batman was snarky like five times in his first three lines! And Alfred is a joy. As is Commissioner Gordon. I had *forgotten* how much I love this show.

ETA: Oh, *Alfred*. You really are the best. And Bats is downright chipper.

ETA2: Also? It is no wonder that Barbara Gordon turned out as awesome as she did if Jim Gordon is her dad. I'm just sayin'.


Aug. 6th, 2006 11:11 pm
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there's Vixen/Shayera fic out there, right? Or, you know, Vixen/Shayera/GL. They are almost as awesome an OT3 as Flash/Shayera/GL.

...and Vigilante Cowboy Guy totally cracks me up. Mal Reynolds is a supahero! Whose power seems to be...his cowboyish ways. WTF, JLU. WTF?

I still have not figured out Arthurian Knight Guy. But JeremyPiven!Elongated Man is made of win.
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...huh. That was *Ioan*?

Also, hilarity is Cowboy Guy and Vixen in the same episode (Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres). And Flash continues to be love.
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Dude, how much do I *love* that GL has issues with royalty? Princess, King, whatever, talking to royalty makes him even snippier than he usually is.

Also, GL/Flash is love.

GL for the win!

ETA: a conversation

sister: "Is that Justice League?"
me: "Yes."
sister: "I *love* Justice League! Hawkgirl is the best! And Flash is so funny!"
me: O_o.

ETA2: I also love how, when Superman gets *really* pissed, he busts out the heat vision.

ETA3: Superman vs The Nazis is still comedy gold! Clark hates Nazis! Clark go SMASH!


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