potc: dead man's chest
Jul. 12th, 2006 12:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mimeserePirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I'm going to save Norrington until the end because, well, I want to spend the most time talking about how he is totally the most awesome thing about that movie. But um, so...
The Good:
Will Turner. Yes, I know, I'm as shocked as you are. But I actually liked Will Turner in this movie. He was straight forward, relatively honorable, and while he was still as dumb as a sack of hair, he at least was both justified in his actions and not a complete moral and ethical douche. He was not incompetent, he was not a Lord of Sketchdonia and, well, he got dicked around a lot and I felt kind of bad for his confused puppy self. But mostly it was that he wasn't a dick and, more importantly, he wasn't a *hypocrite*. I like that. I like very much that it was established that a) Will totally is not into piracy qua piracy and b) I love even *more* that he was so not having anything to do with Jack and Elizabeth with the sexytouching. After Norrington's, I found his plotline -- such as it was -- to be the most interesting. So well done Orlando Bloom! Mild interest is way better than the mild disgust I was left with at the end of the first movie.
Tia Dalma. I totally dug Tia Dalma. Yes, she was totally of the peculiarly hilarious and mostly offensive brand of Mystical Negro (from the *south* even) that litters the pop culture landscape, but on the other hand, she didn't take Jack's crap at all. Also, she is Naomie Harris and thus awesome.
Governor Weatherby Swann. Oh my *god* I love Gov. Swann. I love him like burning. I love that he did not trust Cutler Beckett or Will and that he was all about saving his daughter. I love that he worked to save her himself. He was just *awesome* and smart and proactive and I love it like cake that he was the one that told the audience that Norrington had resigned his commission. I *love* that. Oh, Gov. Swann. *heart heart heart*
MacKenzie Crook. I use his actual name because I can't actually be bothered to remember if he is Pintel or Ragetti. I loved him.
The kraken. That fucking rocked, man. It looked cool and sucked people's faces off. I am sometimes very easy.
I love that the end of PotC 1 came back to bite everyone in the ass in PotC 2. I love that there were consequences that arose from letting Jack go. I was less happy with the sense that the movie was treating it like it was totally unjust that there were consequences, but you know. I take my joys where I can.
The Edinburgh Trader. I loved them! All of them and their superstition and their cranky Scottish captain.
Random Black Sailor Guy and His Black French-speaking Compatriot Who Was Too Smart To Go ToRacism Skull Cannibal Island. They were hot and they were there! Sadly, their presence does not make up for the rest of the movie.
*
The meh:
Jack Sparrow. And I know I will totally be lynched for this, but um, did anyone else feel like there was something missing from Jack? Like...it seemed very much like he was so busy being Jack Sparrow that he didn't have time to be an actual person. I mean, yes, I liked that he was scared and a-flail, but I don't know. We were told that Jack was a good person but we weren't shown that at all. And I totally admit, I'm still sort of stuck on the idea that he screwed Will over and then agreed to do it to 99 more people. And yes, I know he had the "find the heart and do...something" plan in place, but I didn't get the feeling that if he didn't get the heart, he would step in and accept the consequences of his actions. The 100 souls weren't completely a delaying tactic -- they were at least in part a backup plan and um, that's just a little too shady for me to be entirely okay with.
I don't know. He was both too much and not enough in terms of characterization, I think. The comic, drunken reeling stuff was all there and was almost too much while there wasn't enough of a sense of the man underneath the reeling to make me feel sympathetic. Also, sketchiness. I spent most of the time not really caring about Jack's plot because he totally brought it on himself. He made a deal with the nautical equivalent of the devil and then didn't want to pay up. Whatever, Jack. Just...there was too much shadiness and not enough of a sense that he wasn't a total dick to make me care very much.
Also, WTF? W. T. F. with the rowing away from the Pearl.
So, like I said: It's mostly just meh.
Bootstrap Bill. Wow, Will comes by the dumb honestly, doesn't he? I felt sort of bad for him because he loves his boy and because of that sort of sad resignation when he was all, "So he did become a pirate." And I love that he was willing to take the punishment for Will. But mostly I was like, "Why are you in this movie, Mr. Doesn't Look a Lick Like Orlando Bloom?" and that question was never really answered for me.
Cutler Beckett. Whatever. *Whatever*. Oooh, Big Business is Teh Evil, noes! I mean, I totally give props to the character for being Not a Dumbass, but he wasn't charismatic enough to pull off being the big bad and the character wasn't complex enough to make me question his role. He pulled off a sense of menace, but it was a sense of menace sort of tainted by the feel that Cutler Beckett was one of those weedy little bug-eyed children who grow up to be self-centered dicks because no one would play in their sandbox and they'll show us! Oh yes! I wasn't scared of him so much as I thought he was an absolute ass. But truthfully, this is also a complaint I have about...
Davy Jones. Again, I didn't actually *care* about Davy Jones. I mean, I get why he needs to keep replenishing his crew, but I don't get what the whole broken hearted woobie backstory was supposed to add to his character. Was it supposed to make him sympathetic? 'Cause it didn't. Mostly it made him look like an emo little dick. And the emo dickery wasn't at all mitigated by the crazed Phantom-esque organ playing. Whatever, emo Cthulu-face. At least with Barbossa, you got that he was an *asshole* but he was an asshole with an agenda and a clear plan. Also, he was smart. I did not get the impression that Davy Jones was smart.
I just didn't find the antagonists to be compelling at all either in a Love To Hate Them sort of way or in a reluctantly sympathetic way. They were there and they served their function in the plot, but they didn't creep me out or scare me or make me feel sort of bad or make me laugh. They were just there and that made the plot (and pacing) suffer.
The plot. The plot could have been um. More cohesive. Much like X3 -- less egregiously, but still -- DMC was just sort of a mess. I don't think that the EITC plot and the Devil Wears Tentacles plot meshed very well and just...eh.
*
The Really Really Bad:
Cannibals. OMGWTF. Why was that sequence in the movie? Why? It wasn't so funny that the movie couldn't have done without it, it was racist and insulting as *hell* (um, hello, Jack was *speaking gibberish*, they made him and then *the dog* their god, and just god, no. no. I can't even deal with that), and it dragged the movie's pacing down into fuck nothing for half an hour.
The race issues were just...extreme. And okay, I totally dug that there were POCs in the movie since that's clearly a reaction to the criticism of PotC 1's lack of POCs in the CARIBBEAN, hello. But look, you can't get rid of Anamaria without explanation and then toss in a Mystical Negro, an island of POC cannibals (who didn't goddamn well exist *in the first place*), and a POC crew who existed solely to question Jack Sparrow's leadership and then die. Um. Okay. Fuck you Gore, Jerry, and T&T. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls. You *actually did better in the first movie*. At least in that there was Anamaria, Koehler, and Bosun.
Elizabeth. God, she is just a sketchy, sketchy bitch, isn't she? Oh, and a goddamn hypocrite. WTF, guys? Am I supposed to like her? Am I? Because wow, I want to *cut her*. Where do I even start? She left her dad to be arrested after he busted her out of jail, her plan re: Beckett was bitch ass retarded, and while I'm actually okay with her chaining Jack to the mast to die, I have issues with her *lying about it*. She wasn't lying to make Jack look better which I would have been kind of okay with; she was lying to make herself not look like a murdering scumbag. And while this was all going on, she had the gall to be act all, "Unlike you, Jack, I have a sense of honor! and morality! and I am a good person! I am, I am, I am!" Bitch, *please*.
And it really is that self-righteously hypocritical little speech that sent me into frothingly crazy world because okay, I wouldn't actively have a problem with her if she would admit that a) she wants to hit it with Jack and b) she thinks rules apply to everyone else in the world except for her. If she wants to be a pirate, that's all well and good, but then she doesn't get to pretend she's *better than everyone else*. And whatever with the sword fighting. It's been a year. *Whatever*. Augh. God, I hate her. I just hate really passionately despise her and I hope she gets syphilis from Jack and dies. She doesn't care about anyone but herself and Will and I bet you she'll stop giving a crap about Will the minute he says, "Hey, maybe you should be less of a sketchy ho." She's not particularly clever or smart or perceptive -- she is *definitely* not enough of any of those things to even make me *respect her* -- and she's almost entirely selfish and just. Like, she's this shining example of me being told one thing about a character and being shown almost exactly the opposite. She'd be perfectly at home on Stargate: Sketchdonia. God, I hate her. I just hate her.
*breathes*
*
The Norrington Movie
Well, like I said in my voice post, the Norrington Movie kicked *ass*. I loved everything about it. No, really.
I love that his entrance in DMC totally mirrored his entrance in CotBP with the voice first and the talking to Gibbs and I love it like *cake* that Jack is terrified of him.
"What's your story?"
"The same as yours, only one chapter behind." I LOVE THAT. I love that he knows Gibbs' story. LOOOOVE.
The Norrington movie was a return to what made the first PotC movie *work*, at least for me. I think I said somewhere in um, the reams of meta I did for that first movie that a lot of PotC's strength as a character movie rested on the layers and layers of foils and mirrored characters. Will and Norrington were foils, Norrington and Jack were, Norrington and Barbossa were, the Lobsters were mirrored in Pintel and Ragetti, Groves and Gillette were mirrored in Anamaria and Gibbs *and* in Koehler and Bosun. The shadow doubling in PotC 1 was fucking awesome and it was a large part of what made the movie shine.
In DMC, Norrington's acting the role of shadow double *again* and he's doing it with energy and style. That first explicit linking of Norrington to Gibbs sums up, all on its own, in what state Norrington is when he enters DMC. He's where Gibbs was, exactly one chapter behind. He's no longer in the Navy, he's in Tortuga, he's in disgrace, he's drinking, and his path runs directly into Jack's and everything is about to change. I *love that*. I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally dig that we get something of an explanation as to the how and why of Norrington's disgrace (oh, boo, a *hurricane*) which, coupled with Swann's earlier mention of Norrington's resignation, just says so much about Norrington that it makes me all swoony with the love. He resigned! He wasn't asked to leave, he wasn't drummed out, he gave up his commission of his own volition. Oh, *Norrington*. He punishes himself for losing his ship and his crew and his prey! He is the *best*.
Anyway, the thing is, we didn't need that explanation. That first line of Norrington's tells us pretty much what we need to know to infer the rest of his story. It neatly avoids an "As you know..." situation and trusts in the audience's ability to remember what happened in the first movie. So, seriously, they had me from the first line of The Norrington Movie.
But then, *then* the backstory is followed up by:
"...Commodore?"
"Not. Anymore. Weren't you listening?"
*flail*!
Oh. My. *God*. I made a sound so high pitched at that line that only dogs and Superman could hear it.
I *love* that line. I love the lethal precision of it and the sarcasm and the bitterness and, even more, I love how it links Norrington to Jack. Because okay, let's rewind a moment to Jack and Davy Jones' conversation about Jack's debt. The deal was that Davy Jones would raise the Black Pearl from the depths and Jack would captain it for 13 years. Jack makes the point that he only *actually* captained it for two years and Davy Jones basically laughs at him. First because he's right when he says that Jack's lack of competence at captaining is not Davy Jones' problem and *secondly* because Jack's been swanning about introducing himself as *Captain* Jack Sparrow. He insists on it.
We all see where I'm heading with this, right?
Norrington refuses to be called by a title he is no longer in possession of. I love it. I love it with the fire of a thousand burning Caribbean suns. How awesome is that? Seriously. LOOOOVE.
And then! Then! Jack is *scared* of him. So much so that he hides behind a potted plant and carries the plant as he tries to sneak out of the Faithful Bride. But what makes it *better* is that Norrington is having none of that. He aims the gun at Jack without looking and keeps it pointed at him no matter what Jack does.
omgsquee! He is so badass! "Or do I shoot you where you stand?" Love! How can people not love that? *Are* there people who don't love that? Because it is for awesome!
Um. Sorry. I had a moment there.
...squee!
I love that he gets into a brawl and I love that he holds his own. Norrington! Total badass! Which we knew from the first movie when he leapt over the railing of the Dauntless and shot Koehler in the chest without ever flinching at, you know, the undead zombie pirate horde swarming his ship and then pulled his sword and set to immediately after. So, I *knew* he was badass. But it was awfully nice to get that image of him with the gun and the badassery and that sort of arrogant, dangerous recklessness. You know that line immortalized by Sam Jackson when he's listing all these things he's going to do and he ends it with, "I don't give a *fuck*." That! That was Norrington in this movie and he was *awesome*.
So, brawl brawl brawl and then Elizabeth wtf-ever and then Norrington out in the mud! woe! From what I understand, there's a line that was deleted here in response to Elizabeth's question of, "What has the world done to you?" where Norrington's answer is, "Nothing I didn't deserve."
Which, hey, I know that I am not supposed to be all supertexty with stuff in terms of canon, but whatever. It seems very much like once again, a lot of Norrington's better character stuff is going to be in deleted scenes. But you know, it's not like he isn't *completely awesome* anyway, so I am not too terribly fussed. Plus that is stuff for the dvd! Yay!
I think I had another moment. Um. Okay, I'm back.
So, *not only* is Norrington all Mr. Consequence Pants and all dangerous and hot and badass, but he's um, pretty goddamn smart. Because he hears Jack's story to Elizabeth and is immediately with the distrust (which, okay, is pretty much par for the course where Norrington and Jack are concerned) but he also is able to headgame as well as Jack and seriously, how much do I adore Norrington's conversation with Elizabeth where he's all, "What are you, retarded?" 'cause she's all, "Jack is good and would never lie to me!" and hello, what, is she retarded? Full of hate! Sorry! But oh, the *best* part of that conversation for me is not even the headgame where he's all, "Have you wondered about how Will ended up on the Dutchman?" but it's the part where he's (bitter! cynical! angry! woo!) all, "Your current fiance" or latest fiance or whatever it actually is that acknowledges that a) he knows *full well* that she dicked him over and b) that he's *really* not happy about it and c) no pining! No pining for Norrington! Heart heart heart!
*does the dance of no pining*
'Cause okay, seriously? If I were in Norrington's situation, I would be a cynically bitter and snarky bitch too. I really would. But um, he's not pining, he's not piiiiiining. *wins so much*
And oh, did our boy bring the snark. "You're the one who hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax." Norrington won the bratty taunting hair-pulling love game! He won it so hard that Jack's only response was, "You smell funny." And that was my moment of 'shipperness, thank you and drive through.
I love also that Jack brought him onto Isla Cruces and yes, I understand that he needed to be there to further the plot but still, it says something that Jack would rather have his nemesis and a man who has repeatedly tried to kill/arrest/whatever him with him than, say, Gibbs. Norrington was Jack's *backup*. Because who else do you bring? Norrington's fucking *badass* and Jack knows it. Also? Look, I'm just saying, the Norrington in DMC is a Norrington who is hella dangerous. That is totally not a man you leave your ship and your crew with because he would take it without blinking an eye. And this is what excites me hugely about Norrington in DMC: this Norrington is one who has been stripped of everything that could possibly curb him other than the limits he sets on himself. This is a Norrington who out-pirated *every single person in the movie* and did it *to regain his honor and redeem himself*. How is that not absolutely awesome? Do I have to revise some of my thoughts on characterization? Hell yes, but I don't mind at all because okay, most (if not all) of the Norrington Turns Pirate AUs have been about Norrington being Jack's crew member when um, no. No. The Norrington in CotBP and way a lot the Norrington in DMC is not a man who is going to take orders from someone who isn't *better* than he is.
I love that Norrington figured out where the heart was. I love that Norrington fucked with Elizabeth's head. I love that Norrington *filled in his name* on the pardons and letters of marque. I love that Norrington ran off into the jungle with the chest and threw it at Hermit Crab Head guy. OMG I loved it that Norrington was ready, willing, and able to take on Jack *and* Will and that *he won*. And oh my god, you know what else? I love that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
latxcvi and I were right about Norrington being a dirty fighter. He *hunts pirates*. Pirates don't fight fair! Why should he? I loved that he kicked sand in Will's eyes. I *cheered* when he did it. Because seriously, Norrington spent the entire movie in the mindset of, "Oh, fuck you all *and* the horses you rode in on," and since I spent the entirety of DMC in pretty much the same state of mind, I cannot help but go, "WOO! ROCK THE FUCK ON!"
Um. Oh, oh, just the *love* for the Norrington movie makes me all flaily and incoherent and full of squee. It was everything I wanted in Norrington's return with bonus Sheer Goddamn Awesome on top of it. Also, he was smoking hot and his voice did bad naughty things to me and HE WON. Norrington wins at life!
Um. Yes. That is my completely uneven and utterly biased review type thing of DMC.
I'm going to save Norrington until the end because, well, I want to spend the most time talking about how he is totally the most awesome thing about that movie. But um, so...
The Good:
Will Turner. Yes, I know, I'm as shocked as you are. But I actually liked Will Turner in this movie. He was straight forward, relatively honorable, and while he was still as dumb as a sack of hair, he at least was both justified in his actions and not a complete moral and ethical douche. He was not incompetent, he was not a Lord of Sketchdonia and, well, he got dicked around a lot and I felt kind of bad for his confused puppy self. But mostly it was that he wasn't a dick and, more importantly, he wasn't a *hypocrite*. I like that. I like very much that it was established that a) Will totally is not into piracy qua piracy and b) I love even *more* that he was so not having anything to do with Jack and Elizabeth with the sexytouching. After Norrington's, I found his plotline -- such as it was -- to be the most interesting. So well done Orlando Bloom! Mild interest is way better than the mild disgust I was left with at the end of the first movie.
Tia Dalma. I totally dug Tia Dalma. Yes, she was totally of the peculiarly hilarious and mostly offensive brand of Mystical Negro (from the *south* even) that litters the pop culture landscape, but on the other hand, she didn't take Jack's crap at all. Also, she is Naomie Harris and thus awesome.
Governor Weatherby Swann. Oh my *god* I love Gov. Swann. I love him like burning. I love that he did not trust Cutler Beckett or Will and that he was all about saving his daughter. I love that he worked to save her himself. He was just *awesome* and smart and proactive and I love it like cake that he was the one that told the audience that Norrington had resigned his commission. I *love* that. Oh, Gov. Swann. *heart heart heart*
MacKenzie Crook. I use his actual name because I can't actually be bothered to remember if he is Pintel or Ragetti. I loved him.
The kraken. That fucking rocked, man. It looked cool and sucked people's faces off. I am sometimes very easy.
I love that the end of PotC 1 came back to bite everyone in the ass in PotC 2. I love that there were consequences that arose from letting Jack go. I was less happy with the sense that the movie was treating it like it was totally unjust that there were consequences, but you know. I take my joys where I can.
The Edinburgh Trader. I loved them! All of them and their superstition and their cranky Scottish captain.
Random Black Sailor Guy and His Black French-speaking Compatriot Who Was Too Smart To Go To
*
The meh:
Jack Sparrow. And I know I will totally be lynched for this, but um, did anyone else feel like there was something missing from Jack? Like...it seemed very much like he was so busy being Jack Sparrow that he didn't have time to be an actual person. I mean, yes, I liked that he was scared and a-flail, but I don't know. We were told that Jack was a good person but we weren't shown that at all. And I totally admit, I'm still sort of stuck on the idea that he screwed Will over and then agreed to do it to 99 more people. And yes, I know he had the "find the heart and do...something" plan in place, but I didn't get the feeling that if he didn't get the heart, he would step in and accept the consequences of his actions. The 100 souls weren't completely a delaying tactic -- they were at least in part a backup plan and um, that's just a little too shady for me to be entirely okay with.
I don't know. He was both too much and not enough in terms of characterization, I think. The comic, drunken reeling stuff was all there and was almost too much while there wasn't enough of a sense of the man underneath the reeling to make me feel sympathetic. Also, sketchiness. I spent most of the time not really caring about Jack's plot because he totally brought it on himself. He made a deal with the nautical equivalent of the devil and then didn't want to pay up. Whatever, Jack. Just...there was too much shadiness and not enough of a sense that he wasn't a total dick to make me care very much.
Also, WTF? W. T. F. with the rowing away from the Pearl.
So, like I said: It's mostly just meh.
Bootstrap Bill. Wow, Will comes by the dumb honestly, doesn't he? I felt sort of bad for him because he loves his boy and because of that sort of sad resignation when he was all, "So he did become a pirate." And I love that he was willing to take the punishment for Will. But mostly I was like, "Why are you in this movie, Mr. Doesn't Look a Lick Like Orlando Bloom?" and that question was never really answered for me.
Cutler Beckett. Whatever. *Whatever*. Oooh, Big Business is Teh Evil, noes! I mean, I totally give props to the character for being Not a Dumbass, but he wasn't charismatic enough to pull off being the big bad and the character wasn't complex enough to make me question his role. He pulled off a sense of menace, but it was a sense of menace sort of tainted by the feel that Cutler Beckett was one of those weedy little bug-eyed children who grow up to be self-centered dicks because no one would play in their sandbox and they'll show us! Oh yes! I wasn't scared of him so much as I thought he was an absolute ass. But truthfully, this is also a complaint I have about...
Davy Jones. Again, I didn't actually *care* about Davy Jones. I mean, I get why he needs to keep replenishing his crew, but I don't get what the whole broken hearted woobie backstory was supposed to add to his character. Was it supposed to make him sympathetic? 'Cause it didn't. Mostly it made him look like an emo little dick. And the emo dickery wasn't at all mitigated by the crazed Phantom-esque organ playing. Whatever, emo Cthulu-face. At least with Barbossa, you got that he was an *asshole* but he was an asshole with an agenda and a clear plan. Also, he was smart. I did not get the impression that Davy Jones was smart.
I just didn't find the antagonists to be compelling at all either in a Love To Hate Them sort of way or in a reluctantly sympathetic way. They were there and they served their function in the plot, but they didn't creep me out or scare me or make me feel sort of bad or make me laugh. They were just there and that made the plot (and pacing) suffer.
The plot. The plot could have been um. More cohesive. Much like X3 -- less egregiously, but still -- DMC was just sort of a mess. I don't think that the EITC plot and the Devil Wears Tentacles plot meshed very well and just...eh.
*
The Really Really Bad:
Cannibals. OMGWTF. Why was that sequence in the movie? Why? It wasn't so funny that the movie couldn't have done without it, it was racist and insulting as *hell* (um, hello, Jack was *speaking gibberish*, they made him and then *the dog* their god, and just god, no. no. I can't even deal with that), and it dragged the movie's pacing down into fuck nothing for half an hour.
The race issues were just...extreme. And okay, I totally dug that there were POCs in the movie since that's clearly a reaction to the criticism of PotC 1's lack of POCs in the CARIBBEAN, hello. But look, you can't get rid of Anamaria without explanation and then toss in a Mystical Negro, an island of POC cannibals (who didn't goddamn well exist *in the first place*), and a POC crew who existed solely to question Jack Sparrow's leadership and then die. Um. Okay. Fuck you Gore, Jerry, and T&T. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls. You *actually did better in the first movie*. At least in that there was Anamaria, Koehler, and Bosun.
Elizabeth. God, she is just a sketchy, sketchy bitch, isn't she? Oh, and a goddamn hypocrite. WTF, guys? Am I supposed to like her? Am I? Because wow, I want to *cut her*. Where do I even start? She left her dad to be arrested after he busted her out of jail, her plan re: Beckett was bitch ass retarded, and while I'm actually okay with her chaining Jack to the mast to die, I have issues with her *lying about it*. She wasn't lying to make Jack look better which I would have been kind of okay with; she was lying to make herself not look like a murdering scumbag. And while this was all going on, she had the gall to be act all, "Unlike you, Jack, I have a sense of honor! and morality! and I am a good person! I am, I am, I am!" Bitch, *please*.
And it really is that self-righteously hypocritical little speech that sent me into frothingly crazy world because okay, I wouldn't actively have a problem with her if she would admit that a) she wants to hit it with Jack and b) she thinks rules apply to everyone else in the world except for her. If she wants to be a pirate, that's all well and good, but then she doesn't get to pretend she's *better than everyone else*. And whatever with the sword fighting. It's been a year. *Whatever*. Augh. God, I hate her. I just hate really passionately despise her and I hope she gets syphilis from Jack and dies. She doesn't care about anyone but herself and Will and I bet you she'll stop giving a crap about Will the minute he says, "Hey, maybe you should be less of a sketchy ho." She's not particularly clever or smart or perceptive -- she is *definitely* not enough of any of those things to even make me *respect her* -- and she's almost entirely selfish and just. Like, she's this shining example of me being told one thing about a character and being shown almost exactly the opposite. She'd be perfectly at home on Stargate: Sketchdonia. God, I hate her. I just hate her.
*breathes*
*
The Norrington Movie
Well, like I said in my voice post, the Norrington Movie kicked *ass*. I loved everything about it. No, really.
I love that his entrance in DMC totally mirrored his entrance in CotBP with the voice first and the talking to Gibbs and I love it like *cake* that Jack is terrified of him.
"What's your story?"
"The same as yours, only one chapter behind." I LOVE THAT. I love that he knows Gibbs' story. LOOOOVE.
The Norrington movie was a return to what made the first PotC movie *work*, at least for me. I think I said somewhere in um, the reams of meta I did for that first movie that a lot of PotC's strength as a character movie rested on the layers and layers of foils and mirrored characters. Will and Norrington were foils, Norrington and Jack were, Norrington and Barbossa were, the Lobsters were mirrored in Pintel and Ragetti, Groves and Gillette were mirrored in Anamaria and Gibbs *and* in Koehler and Bosun. The shadow doubling in PotC 1 was fucking awesome and it was a large part of what made the movie shine.
In DMC, Norrington's acting the role of shadow double *again* and he's doing it with energy and style. That first explicit linking of Norrington to Gibbs sums up, all on its own, in what state Norrington is when he enters DMC. He's where Gibbs was, exactly one chapter behind. He's no longer in the Navy, he's in Tortuga, he's in disgrace, he's drinking, and his path runs directly into Jack's and everything is about to change. I *love that*. I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally dig that we get something of an explanation as to the how and why of Norrington's disgrace (oh, boo, a *hurricane*) which, coupled with Swann's earlier mention of Norrington's resignation, just says so much about Norrington that it makes me all swoony with the love. He resigned! He wasn't asked to leave, he wasn't drummed out, he gave up his commission of his own volition. Oh, *Norrington*. He punishes himself for losing his ship and his crew and his prey! He is the *best*.
Anyway, the thing is, we didn't need that explanation. That first line of Norrington's tells us pretty much what we need to know to infer the rest of his story. It neatly avoids an "As you know..." situation and trusts in the audience's ability to remember what happened in the first movie. So, seriously, they had me from the first line of The Norrington Movie.
But then, *then* the backstory is followed up by:
"...Commodore?"
"Not. Anymore. Weren't you listening?"
*flail*!
Oh. My. *God*. I made a sound so high pitched at that line that only dogs and Superman could hear it.
I *love* that line. I love the lethal precision of it and the sarcasm and the bitterness and, even more, I love how it links Norrington to Jack. Because okay, let's rewind a moment to Jack and Davy Jones' conversation about Jack's debt. The deal was that Davy Jones would raise the Black Pearl from the depths and Jack would captain it for 13 years. Jack makes the point that he only *actually* captained it for two years and Davy Jones basically laughs at him. First because he's right when he says that Jack's lack of competence at captaining is not Davy Jones' problem and *secondly* because Jack's been swanning about introducing himself as *Captain* Jack Sparrow. He insists on it.
We all see where I'm heading with this, right?
Norrington refuses to be called by a title he is no longer in possession of. I love it. I love it with the fire of a thousand burning Caribbean suns. How awesome is that? Seriously. LOOOOVE.
And then! Then! Jack is *scared* of him. So much so that he hides behind a potted plant and carries the plant as he tries to sneak out of the Faithful Bride. But what makes it *better* is that Norrington is having none of that. He aims the gun at Jack without looking and keeps it pointed at him no matter what Jack does.
omgsquee! He is so badass! "Or do I shoot you where you stand?" Love! How can people not love that? *Are* there people who don't love that? Because it is for awesome!
Um. Sorry. I had a moment there.
...squee!
I love that he gets into a brawl and I love that he holds his own. Norrington! Total badass! Which we knew from the first movie when he leapt over the railing of the Dauntless and shot Koehler in the chest without ever flinching at, you know, the undead zombie pirate horde swarming his ship and then pulled his sword and set to immediately after. So, I *knew* he was badass. But it was awfully nice to get that image of him with the gun and the badassery and that sort of arrogant, dangerous recklessness. You know that line immortalized by Sam Jackson when he's listing all these things he's going to do and he ends it with, "I don't give a *fuck*." That! That was Norrington in this movie and he was *awesome*.
So, brawl brawl brawl and then Elizabeth wtf-ever and then Norrington out in the mud! woe! From what I understand, there's a line that was deleted here in response to Elizabeth's question of, "What has the world done to you?" where Norrington's answer is, "Nothing I didn't deserve."
Which, hey, I know that I am not supposed to be all supertexty with stuff in terms of canon, but whatever. It seems very much like once again, a lot of Norrington's better character stuff is going to be in deleted scenes. But you know, it's not like he isn't *completely awesome* anyway, so I am not too terribly fussed. Plus that is stuff for the dvd! Yay!
I think I had another moment. Um. Okay, I'm back.
So, *not only* is Norrington all Mr. Consequence Pants and all dangerous and hot and badass, but he's um, pretty goddamn smart. Because he hears Jack's story to Elizabeth and is immediately with the distrust (which, okay, is pretty much par for the course where Norrington and Jack are concerned) but he also is able to headgame as well as Jack and seriously, how much do I adore Norrington's conversation with Elizabeth where he's all, "What are you, retarded?" 'cause she's all, "Jack is good and would never lie to me!" and hello, what, is she retarded? Full of hate! Sorry! But oh, the *best* part of that conversation for me is not even the headgame where he's all, "Have you wondered about how Will ended up on the Dutchman?" but it's the part where he's (bitter! cynical! angry! woo!) all, "Your current fiance" or latest fiance or whatever it actually is that acknowledges that a) he knows *full well* that she dicked him over and b) that he's *really* not happy about it and c) no pining! No pining for Norrington! Heart heart heart!
*does the dance of no pining*
'Cause okay, seriously? If I were in Norrington's situation, I would be a cynically bitter and snarky bitch too. I really would. But um, he's not pining, he's not piiiiiining. *wins so much*
And oh, did our boy bring the snark. "You're the one who hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax." Norrington won the bratty taunting hair-pulling love game! He won it so hard that Jack's only response was, "You smell funny." And that was my moment of 'shipperness, thank you and drive through.
I love also that Jack brought him onto Isla Cruces and yes, I understand that he needed to be there to further the plot but still, it says something that Jack would rather have his nemesis and a man who has repeatedly tried to kill/arrest/whatever him with him than, say, Gibbs. Norrington was Jack's *backup*. Because who else do you bring? Norrington's fucking *badass* and Jack knows it. Also? Look, I'm just saying, the Norrington in DMC is a Norrington who is hella dangerous. That is totally not a man you leave your ship and your crew with because he would take it without blinking an eye. And this is what excites me hugely about Norrington in DMC: this Norrington is one who has been stripped of everything that could possibly curb him other than the limits he sets on himself. This is a Norrington who out-pirated *every single person in the movie* and did it *to regain his honor and redeem himself*. How is that not absolutely awesome? Do I have to revise some of my thoughts on characterization? Hell yes, but I don't mind at all because okay, most (if not all) of the Norrington Turns Pirate AUs have been about Norrington being Jack's crew member when um, no. No. The Norrington in CotBP and way a lot the Norrington in DMC is not a man who is going to take orders from someone who isn't *better* than he is.
I love that Norrington figured out where the heart was. I love that Norrington fucked with Elizabeth's head. I love that Norrington *filled in his name* on the pardons and letters of marque. I love that Norrington ran off into the jungle with the chest and threw it at Hermit Crab Head guy. OMG I loved it that Norrington was ready, willing, and able to take on Jack *and* Will and that *he won*. And oh my god, you know what else? I love that
latxcvi and I were right about Norrington being a dirty fighter. He *hunts pirates*. Pirates don't fight fair! Why should he? I loved that he kicked sand in Will's eyes. I *cheered* when he did it. Because seriously, Norrington spent the entire movie in the mindset of, "Oh, fuck you all *and* the horses you rode in on," and since I spent the entirety of DMC in pretty much the same state of mind, I cannot help but go, "WOO! ROCK THE FUCK ON!"Um. Oh, oh, just the *love* for the Norrington movie makes me all flaily and incoherent and full of squee. It was everything I wanted in Norrington's return with bonus Sheer Goddamn Awesome on top of it. Also, he was smoking hot and his voice did bad naughty things to me and HE WON. Norrington wins at life!
Um. Yes. That is my completely uneven and utterly biased review type thing of DMC.
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Date: 2006-07-16 05:49 am (UTC)